Not at all.
Not one bit.
I am an impostor in my home State at this moment.
I'm a hostage held captive by the impending Grand Final.
I just want to watch something pretty or creative...
(I don't mind the Brownlow Red Carpet - it's a bit of skank-pretty, isn't it?)
Not boys boffing each other in footy shorts and spitting on the ground as though they've forgotten they're on tv.
Not boring commentators surfing an excitedly chatty wave of cliches and 'you little beauty's'.
Not 'funny' ads about meat pies and 'salad plates'.
Not smart AND pretty AND sporty girly commentators waxing lyrical about the various teams stats in serious tones
Not knobs swilling beer out of big huge plastic cups while they hug their mates and dribble
Not 'atmospheric' 'emotional' power ballads sung by fairly good singers (with very bad audio) on The Big Day.
Not plate clinkingly dull Grand Final Day breakfasts where the waiters seem to be the most interesting viewing and Shannon Noll always seems to pop up.
Not Weig's amazing caricatures of the winning teams with their big eyes and heavy lids and tiny bodies.
Not any of these things, do I want to watch.
How shallow and anti-Victorian of me.
I am sorry Jess. I wish I liked it. Truly I do. Because you like it. And I LOVE you. I will try harder next year. I'll start a bit of a Crafty Footy Tipping - I really will. I'll try a whole new slant on things, truly. But for now, I think the footy gene bypassed me. That is all.
Sigh.
Not one bit.
I am an impostor in my home State at this moment.
I'm a hostage held captive by the impending Grand Final.
I just want to watch something pretty or creative...
(I don't mind the Brownlow Red Carpet - it's a bit of skank-pretty, isn't it?)
Not boys boffing each other in footy shorts and spitting on the ground as though they've forgotten they're on tv.
Not boring commentators surfing an excitedly chatty wave of cliches and 'you little beauty's'.
Not 'funny' ads about meat pies and 'salad plates'.
Not smart AND pretty AND sporty girly commentators waxing lyrical about the various teams stats in serious tones
Not knobs swilling beer out of big huge plastic cups while they hug their mates and dribble
Not 'atmospheric' 'emotional' power ballads sung by fairly good singers (with very bad audio) on The Big Day.
Not plate clinkingly dull Grand Final Day breakfasts where the waiters seem to be the most interesting viewing and Shannon Noll always seems to pop up.
Not Weig's amazing caricatures of the winning teams with their big eyes and heavy lids and tiny bodies.
Not any of these things, do I want to watch.
How shallow and anti-Victorian of me.
I am sorry Jess. I wish I liked it. Truly I do. Because you like it. And I LOVE you. I will try harder next year. I'll start a bit of a Crafty Footy Tipping - I really will. I'll try a whole new slant on things, truly. But for now, I think the footy gene bypassed me. That is all.
Sigh.
xx Pip
Oh Pip, it missed me to - I can't speak football at all.
ReplyDeleteI'm planning to clean out the shed instead.
Oh my views are just the same!
ReplyDeleteLets get a rug and a portable sewing machine and some fresh market treats and just sip wine and chatty chatty chatty under the shade of an oak tree!!I can understand that.
You know my view on football too!
brownlow red carpet, well this is just a laugh!
I love Grand final day! It is my favourite day of the YEAR! I always get the best park at the local shopping centre, no lines at the supermarket and no wait at the coffee shop.
ReplyDeleteBLISS!
I wanna join a crafty footy tips team. You could base it on colours of the teams playing. You know tip Carlton against Hawthorn b/c navy and white sooooooo much nicer than yellow and brown. Or... anyone against that crazy team with the twelve different colours on their jumper (is it Port?). It is one of those made up teams that didn't exist last time I was home.
ReplyDeleteOh, this could be BIG!
I'm with you sisters!
ReplyDeleteAs my anti-AFL husband says "The best thing about Grand Final Day - is it is the first day of Cricket season".
Personally I don't care for either. It all seems a bit ridiculous.
And why is it that footy seems to be pronounced with a "d"?
Oh Pip ;)
ReplyDeleteBless. I can't stand the stuff either. I believe it is a genetic thing as my Dad isn't into it either.
It is an AWESOME day for grocery shopping tho...just have to be 'picky' with the time you go ;)
I'm not particularly interested in it either - a few years back, when I was living in Melbourne, I went out to see a band on the night of the grand final and I had to ASK someone why there were loads of drunk people wearing football jumpers on the tram. Oops.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, I just want it over and done with! ASAP! It does my head in. I live in a house of hawthorn supporters... I think I need to find temporary accommodation for this week...
ReplyDeleteOh Pip I love you!!! And you don't need to try harder, you just go ahead and keep hating it! I'm sorry I'm such a bogan, to love it so. i wished perhaps that I didn't love it so and could be more of a girl. ( I even watched the Brownlow last night)
ReplyDeleteWhat's best about us is we love each other, despite being different about footy and don't feel like we need to pretend or change for the other. that's true friendship!
I had to ask my boyfriend this morning what day the grand final is! Even he wasn't sure (which is one of the reasons I love him). I'm working on grand final day so am expecting a quiet one (I work in retail). Enjoy your day whatever you choose to do!
ReplyDeleteDitto. I couldn't have said it better myself! Thank goodness I married a man who feels the same way I do about footy....
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderful and exactly how I feel. My husband is a football fan and me, not so much! This is also how I feel about Home Depot versus Saks Fifth Avenue. Thank you!
ReplyDelete